... is not quite being trapped in the bathroom, only to notice your roll of toilet paper is only seven sheets deep.

Because when that chick gets rammed, it's way more fun than watching her tease me.  I don't like getting teased.   I really don't.  But, our justification for categorizing tiers of gamers is fundamentally flawed, and there's a bunch of reasons why.  Frankly, I think it's because we're all idiots, but that doesn't stop me from using that excuse to explain everything else.

Thesis: life without the internet is scary.  Argument: life involves members of the opposite gender, internet is necessary for mental functioning, and calling Comcast every other day is unpleasant.  Details: ... details.

Welcome to video gaming.  Here, one can join the company of other socially maladjusted miscreants, the borderline sociopaths, violent, arrogant shells of people, and most importantly, a big bright flashing light that says "hah, you fail, stop wasting your time."